For Jess Galley

Times like this polarize people.  Everyone who knows what’s happened will respond in some way.  Whether it is grief, or joy, shame or love, hope or hopelessness, anything... we see them all.  And they are all valid, as are the condolences, the arguments for and against; those are real questions.  What is this life anyway?
These reactions are striking to me.  I am an outsider in this—I did not know her long or well, but I do know those who did.  For a few, her death shakes their very foundations; some may even crumble.  For others, their reactions will pass.  The significant difference being how much is invested and where the remainder of their hope lies.
Hope is a tricky thing though.  A phrase that keeps coming into my mind is, “You win some and you lose some.”  A portion of me has been wondering about the purpose behind this—why the loss now?  It never makes sense for someone so young to be cut off.  What could she have done with the rest of her life?
But that is not it at all.  For starters—this is not a loss.  I firmly believe that, especially now.  Today at the reunion I heard story after story of how Jess was a light to so many people.  Each of them saw her joy and love, that she truly “lived life to the full,” and so many knew that it was based in a love for Jesus.
John 3:16, one of the most commonly known verses says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  Jess loves Jesus because of her belief in Him and because of His power over the grave.  She had no fear of life because she knew that life was her gift from the Father who gave everything to ensure it.
This is no true loss.  For a time, this will sear her family and closest friends, but Christ the good doctor can repair the damage.  It may, however, take a lifetime.
These few are the true victims.  Her family can never fill that spot again, and her friends have also lost so much.  Their recovery will take time, friends, and God.
Jess was not perfect—she struggled as well, falling some and succeeding some—but she lived well.  Complaining that she had so much left, in the end, just discounts the time she did have here.  God has his timing set, and works through everything that happens to us.  I am full of joy for how much I did know Jess and for what she meant to so many of you, and sorrow for how little I knew her and for what her loss leaves you with, but overall I have hope and excitement for how much more you and I will know her in eternity!

I sincerely hope that these words can help—death takes its toll on us all, even while we still live.  I believe fully that God uses times like this for absolute good, but we are definitely not going to understand that right away.  Seek the great Counselor for comfort first (John 14:26) and try with all your heart to trust God through this.  He really, truly, knows what he is doing.

Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching.  My Father will love him, and we will comet o him and make our home with him.  He who does not love me will not obey my teaching.  These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.  All this I have spoken while still with you.  But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid”  (John 14:23-27).

https://www.facebook.com/jess.galley.5?group_id=0

The Fall

It’s 10:30, and I will be awake by 5:30 tomorrow morning, yet I cannot sleep.  The past couple months have been strange.  I will never have a summer off again—either work or school will continue, until I retire or fall asleep.  I live more or less on my own, with friends, but still independently.  I make my own decisions about dinner, time spent, money, boundaries...

I am in a new era of life.  It is crazy to think about, but I am an adult.  Not even a teenager anymore.  It does not happen as fast as you are told, I have been taking steps toward this for some time, but looking back I could easily be fooled about the passage of time.

Here’s the deal though:  many things have changed a lot—there is urgency where I once desired to wait in love, fitness, different adventures and family—and sometimes I am overcome with anxiety about my past, present and future, but always I find comfort in my relationship with Christ.

This may be super cliché.  I have known a lot of people who talk big about God, but never seem comfortable with him.  But I have also known people who are unmistakably in love with Jesus.  There is a reality there that we all seek in something—some objectively know the answer but never really come to understand the love of Christ, and many will never come close.  Regardless, there is no denying the need for something constant, faithful, powerful and personal.

I cannot honestly say that I found all that though...  nobody really can.  One does not simply discover truth—it is only revealed.  Our thoughts are too self-centered; even at our best, we only think of what think we need or want, it is impossible to truly separate from ourselves.  Truth must find us.  God reveals himself to those with whom he finds favor.  Not because of virtue we hold, but because of his virtue.

That is what I missed for so long; I thought that I had to be good, or prove myself valuable for God to work in me.  Truth is—all I was doing was denying him access to my life.  I barred Christ and all his goodness from my life even while I sought goodness with which to please him.  Inevitably I failed, exhausted myself by seeking light in the darkness of myself.  There is no goodness within—the sick do not become healed by rejecting the cure.

All it took was my lowest point.  When I could dig no deeper, introspect no further, He found me.  I had given up, and that’s all it took.  I resigned myself to my own wretchedness—I am incapable of being a friend, a servant or a leader.  I have no power, love or joy.  The cup that I had guarded for so long was actually empty.  I accepted help, and instantly he began to recreate me.

I have not gone instantly from empty to full.  There is so little to work with, and God is patient.  He is the potter, who takes pride in his work, and I am the vessel, designed solely to glorify my maker.

Selfishness falls away when you realize that life is really about bringing glory to someone else.  It is not about me and what I can do, but how great the Heavenly Father is and what He has done!

Yet I forget this constantly.  I reject his capable hands and once again try to guide myself through the darkness, abandoning the light.  Of course I fall, walking on unfinished limbs.  I am injured not because of any curse from God, but because I have not allowed God to finish his work in me.  I am not able to help others, or even to keep myself safe.

Eventually I allow Him to take me back, and he brings me back to the light of his workshop where I am safe once again.  Being fixed hurts—as does a bone being set.  The pain is necessary or else I will never be whole, and in reality it is self-inflicted.  So I seek to trust God.

Only he knows what I will be when finished.  Though I deserve to be left broken, empty and dishonored in darkness, I will be something incredible, if only because God is glorious and everything he makes reflects his beauty.  This is the hope I have.

Father, I want to remain with you.  Help me to remember this always, and settle for nothing less than all you have in store for me.  Give me the strength to withstand the pain of healing, and the patience to see your work through to completion.  Father, you are incredible for choosing me, the lowest.  Do your work, Lord, for your sake and your eternal Glory.  In Jesus Christ’s name, Amen.

---

Congratulations on making it through this whole narrative.  It’s been about a year since I started this blog thing.  I’ve been fairly lax about writing lately.  If you know me, encourage me to be faithful to Christ and in writing.

Hopefully I don’t ramble in later posts nearly as much.

Thanks!

To Be Sent

Context:  I lead YoungLife at Mason High School.  This is a relationship-based youth ministry that depends on volunteer leaders.  One of the greatest roles of leaders is to spend time in the community living life with students there, what we call “Contact Work”.

I was placed at Mason on January 13, 2012, so I’ve been leading for about 9 months now.  So far I’ve had a lot of awkward moments, some rough transitions, and a few really rewarding experiences.  All of this is expected—I’ve just been waiting for my role to become clear.

So far I know that I need to be present in the community doing contact work and spending time in the word on my own.  Last week was huge for the former—God led me to spend several hours with a couple of awesome guys playing disc golf, and it was fantastic.

Originally my intention was to get up to Mason in time for the dismissal bell and hope to see some guys I know on their way out of school.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t make it up there in time, but I was hoping that I could still spend time in the community or with some friends in Mason.  I was confident that God wanted me there, but had no idea what he was going to do—always a fun time.

It was fairly awkward.  I had no idea what to do, so I just sat in the parking lot and thought about who I could talk to about hanging out.  I also figured my time would be constrained by a YoungLife leadership meeting in a couple hours.  My texts were mostly unanswered; one guy I did get into contact with was more interested in hanging out in a group of friends rather than just meeting up with me, which I expected, but that left me with no real leads.

This took awhile, so I figured I’d have to leave soon, which was a really disappointing thought.  And at the same time I felt really awkward sitting in different parking lots waiting for people to text me back—I was a little afraid people would start noticing me...

I find it difficult to differentiate between voices on the phone, so when I decided to call one of my friends and I started talking with him, he awkwardly handed the phone off to my intended recipient.  Amazingly enough, however, he invited me to meet up with him, so I did.

I ended up driving him home, meeting his parents, taking him to get a haircut and finally playing disc golf with him and a couple of his friends.  At first I was really nervous about the time—by then it was almost time for me to leave for my meeting.  Nine holes of disc golf don’t go by quickly though.

I ended up missing the meeting, but I met a couple great guys who I had the privilege of eating dinner with and getting to talk to.  They invited me to join them in Ultimate practice and seemed excited about coming to YoungLife stuff, even though I didn’t really mention it.

This whole day blew me away.  I felt God wanting me in Mason, but I figured I blew it when I was late.  I just got disappointed trying to text people and felt like I shouldn’t be there the whole time, but it ended up being incredibly encouraging.  I have no idea what was talked about at leadership that day, but I was where God wanted me, and I got to experience a taste of God’s faithfulness that afternoon

When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.  He told them:  “Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra tunic.  Whatever house you enter, stay there until you leave that town.  If people do not welcome you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave their town, as a testimony against them.” (Luke 9:1-5)

Speechless.

What do you say when you can’t think of anything?

It has been a couple months since I have posted, which is disappointing.  Not for lack of trying.  I have multiple partially written drafts, but I just can’t think of what to write.  Not that God has been absent from my life lately—I do not believe he does that.  I just have not been given written words lately.

God is good, even in the quieter times.  Between Mason, my family, and seeing old friends graduating, I am incredibly encouraged constantly.

One of my drafts is regarding a concept called “generational memory”, which I will not expand much on here, but is essentially partnering with your family with God at the center.  I recently felt led to call a “family meeting” to talk about the different ministries and paths the individual members of my family are involved in, with the hopes of encouraging and partnering where appropriate.  This is something we have never really done before, and it took nerve for me, as well as a blind leap, but I think it is worth it.  My family is fairly close, but there are areas of our individual lives that we just have not shared much, and it was awesome to see priorities, dreams and struggles laid out.  Above all, God presented me with the opportunity to pledge support to my family, and I am even more excited about the future than I was before.

Mason YoungLife is incredible.  This school has been blessed with great leaders and fantastic students, all of whom have a passion for both Christ and this ministry!  These few months since placement have been a little weird; coming into a well-developed ministry hoping to find a place is tricky, for sure.  However, I am having my expectations blown away.  Camp this past week was literally comparable to months of regular Mason YoungLife.  The amount of time spent hanging out with students was awesome, and I am excited to continue to get to know students.  Not only that, but I am pumped to see guys who want to step up—guys who have seen leaders develop through YoungLife, or simply feel called to live actively pursuing Christ.  I am absolutely overwhelmed.  In high school it took me a long time to really understand “following Christ” like these guys are, and even being involved as a leader I had previously been blind to a lot of the work God has been doing.

And now, guys I have known for years are about to go through the same kind of thing that I just passed through this year.  My brother and friends from high school just spent the past year stepping into leadership roles as students in YoungLife, and now they are all gearing up for college and the changes that are about to take place.  Through this, I hope to continue to be a part of their lives, as possible, helping to equip and serve them, or just be a supporter.

This is the future that I am excited for.  God is moving in and taking his own, piece by piece! 

Thank You.

<”><

On Mortality

There are many potential fears to have, some silly, some profound.  One of the most common, I believe, is the fear of death.  Perhaps you do not fear death, perhaps you would if threatened, it is difficult to predict.  However, none can deny the reality.

Unfortunately, death is not only inevitable, but unpredictable.  Both aspects of this have been explored:  defeating death through medicine, technology or magic, and knowing the future and how you will die, probably because of this fear of death—the final frontier.  At the same time, sacrificing life is considered the “ultimate sacrifice.”  What reason is there for that, except the fear of death?

Unfortunately, I cannot help but fear death as well.  I have tried to overcome this, but without fail, the perception of real danger brings my immediate response for self-preservation.  This is normal, so why does it bother me?

To many, death is the end, or else a vast unknown.  It is difficult to think beyond the physical world, and what is there to see?  But I believe in a resurrected God.  Christ faced death head on, fought it and won.  Now he offers this victory to us:  “I write this to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life”  (1 John 5:13).

This is the issue then; my trust is in the Lord, the Son of God who died in my place and was resurrected in a glorious victory over the grave.  Not only did he pay the price for my life, but then he returned to prove his conquest and cement the faith of his followers.  I need not fear death any longer, because I will never have to taste that pain.

1 Corinthians 15:55-57
“Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

There is no longer any room in my life for fear.  “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18).  My fear is an indicator of my imperfection, but this is something that I no longer need to hold on to.  In fact, I cannot retain it any longer if I seek to grow in Christ.

What is left then?  If Christ has beaten out death then the end of my time on earth is simply the beginning of my time with Him!  “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm.  Let nothing move you.  Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58)

Just do it.

“I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life” (John 5:24).

New Orleans Mission Trip - Collegiate Ministries

My Photos

not a fan.

Am I a fan or follower of Christ?

Most of my life to this point has been spent as a “fan” of Christ.  One who knows about God, likes the idea, perhaps considers him or herself saved, but never truly understands the cost of following Christ.

Unfortunately, this probably describes a lot of modern believers.  We understand our sinful nature and need for salvation, but we assume that is all that is necessary.  But never is that what Christ teaches.

Often, Christ is approached by men who want to follow him, but on terms they decide.  However, Jesus replies, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62)  Never does Christ condone halfhearted commitments or partial followers.  Rather, he spends him time developing disciples that his church can be built on.  Peter is described as the rock, the foundation of the church, because he is committed so fully to Christ by the end of the ministry.

What Christ asks, therefore, is for us to “define the relationship”.  He often preaches counting the cost of being a disciple—Jesus wants us to know what we’re getting ourselves into, but he also wants us to know the extent to which he demands devotion.  In Luke 14, Jesus uses two examples, a builder and a commander, to illustrate “counting the cost.”  A builder would not begin a project unless he is certain that he has the materials and money to complete it.  Similarly, a commander will not go into battle unless he is confident in his ability to win.  In the same way, it is important to understand the depth of commitment that Christ demands, or else you will drain yourself and be lost.

You cannot go into a relationship with Christ half-heartedly, or try to live with mixed commitments.  The Bible is full of people unwilling to fully commit to Christ, those who feel that their lives are “good enough.”  One such individual is the rich young ruler of Matthew 19.  He approaches Jesus and asks what good deeds are necessary to live forever.  This is a man who has followed the commandments and lives a “good life.”  On top of that, he’s successful, and believed to be blessed by God.  But Jesus tells him that in order to be saved, he must sell all of his possessions and give his money to the poor.  Unable to commit to something so drastic, the man exits, sad.

Jesus says to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.  Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” (Matthew 19:23-24).  The man they encountered is one who finds his worth through his power and prosperity.  The fact that he goes away sad shows that he is unable to fully follow Jesus, because of his allegiance to success.

Revelation 3:15-17

“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot.  I wish you were either one or the other!  So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.  You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’  But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.”

Individuals such as the rich young ruler and the Pharisees Jesus often encountered are some of the “lukewarm” referred to.  Those who see themselves as good, and possibly feel as though they have earned heaven because of righteous deeds they have committed.  In reality, rather than being good, they are not following God’s commands at all.  They have not counted the cost of following Christ.

What makes that worse than being hot or cold?  To be hot is to be a true follower of Christ.  On the other hand, to be cold is one whose lifestyle is clearly contrary to the goodness of God.  There is no doubt that that individual is not a follower of Christ, and probably not a fan either.  But to be lukewarm is to be blind.  It is to be more lost than a “cold” individual because of the assumption of eternal life without the life transformation of the cross.

So what then does it look like to follow Christ?  For the rich young ruler it was to give up his wealth for Jesus’s sake.  For others it may be giving up relationships or stability, but that simply depends on the person.

“As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, ‘I will follow you wherever you go.’
Jesus replied, ‘Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.’
He said to another man, ‘Follow me.’
But the man replied, ‘Lord, first let me go and bury my father.’
Jesus said to hi, ‘Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.’
Still another said, ‘I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.’
Jesus replied, ‘No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God’” (Luke 9:57-62).

Each individual has something holding them back, something that Christ is asking them to give up for his sake.  The problem for many is that this command seems heartless, “How can I be asked to give up on people?”  The problem with this is that we cannot understand God’s plan.  He says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways” (Isaiah 55:8).  The world’s idea of serving others is often rooted in pride, the need for public image, or the self-centered idea of earning righteousness.  Christ asks us to give this up.  Turn from yourself to him.  Once we do that, his command is this:  “Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:12-13).  He asks us to die to ourselves so that we can serve him, and through him selflessly serve others.  It is a difficult choice to make.  It is going against the world’s ideas of success and fulfillment, choosing a path contrary to what many will understand.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:13-14).

Brokenness - Rev. John Collinson

When to do the will of God means that even my Christian brethren will not understand, and I remember that “neither did his brethren believe in Him(1),” and I bow my head to obey and accept the misunderstanding, this is brokenness.


When I am misrepresented or deliberately misinterpreted, and I remember that Jesus was falsely accused but He "held His peace,” and I bow my head to accept the accusation without trying to justify myself, this is brokenness.


When another is preferred before me and I am deliberately passed over, and I remember that they cried “Away with this man, and release unto us Barabbas(2),” and I bow my head and accept rejection, this is brokenness.


When my plans are brushed aside and I see the work of years brought to ruins by the ambitions of others, and I remember that Jesus allowed them to "lead Him away to crucify Him(3)" and He accepted that place of failure, and I bow my head and accept the injustice without bitterness, this is brokenness.


When in order to be right with my God it is necessary to take the humbling path of confession and restitution, and I remember that Jesus “made Himself of no reputation” and “humbled Himself…unto death, even death on a cross(4),” and I bow my head and am ready to accept the shame of exposure, this is brokenness.


When others take unfair advantage of my being a Christian and treat my belongings as public property, and I remember “they stripped Him,” and “parted His garments, casting lots(5),” and I bow my head and accept “joyfully the spoiling of my goods,” for His sake, this is brokenness.
When one acts toward me in an unforgivable way, and I remember that when He was crucified Jesus prayed “Father forgive them; for they know not what they do6,” and I bow my head and accept any behavior towards me as permitted by my loving Father, this is brokenness.


When people expect the impossible of me and more than time or human strength can give, and I remember Jesus said, “This is my body which is given for you…(7),” and I repent of my self-indulgence and lack of self giving for others, this is brokenness.

(1) John 7:5
(2) Luke 23:18
(3) Matthew 27:31
(4) Philippians 2:7-8
(5) Matthew 27:28,35
(6) Luke 23:34
(7) Luke 22:19

Strong Challenge: Serve

Service is something that I have grown up around.  My parents have become active in their own ministries, and they have supported mine.  Service has become a large commitment for me, but one that I am glad to make.  It’s also something that Christ pushes a lot in the gospel.

Jesus is well known for his miracles and teaching.  Almost everyone will admit that he was a good man, at the very least.  He lived a life in service to others.  Most of his miracles were healings, and much of his time was spent with people who were hurting emotionally or spiritually.  He never held anything of himself back, never shirked from an opportunity to bless people, and always loved those he served in a way none can match.

The craziest part being that Jesus is the Christ.  He is God Incarnate—”The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.  We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth,” (John 1:14).  Jesus is the Prince of Peace, Lord of Lords, King of Kings, and yet he came to serve the lowest.  Us.  He came to wash us clean of the stains that we cannot be rid of by ourselves.  In one of his greatest acts of symbolism and service, Jesus disrobes and hand washes the feet of his disciples.  This task was generally given to the lowest of servants; foot washing was the most disgusting chore anyone could have.  It shocked all twelve and gave Jesus the opportunity to challenge them:  “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.  I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you,” (John 13:14-15).

That isn’t the end, however.  Service isn’t a standalone, do this and you’ll be happy and successful deal.  Christ’s most amazing act of love and selflessness—his death on the cross—is the reason for our service.  “We love because he first loved us,” (1 John 4:19).  His perfect, sinless blood, shed on the cross, gives us hope for a future of eternal life with Him!  And his resurrection assures us of its completion.  We are called to serve because of how completely Christ gave himself to serve us.  Not out of duty—Jesus has done all of the work—but because it’s through service that we grow ever closer to him.  Our individual acts of submitting to Christ are what allow us to be perfected into His image.  That is how we accept fulfillment: oneness with the Holy Spirit.  And “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control,” (Galatians 5:22-23).

That is why I serve now.  I have experienced and continue to live in Christ’s eternal love for me.  Out of the joy of my transformation I seek to serve God in the way he has demonstrated!  To demonstrate the love of Christ and share the incredible news of his conquest over death is the greatest commission in the world.  And while I often find myself insufficient—too weak to give myself to others—Christ pours himself into me.  My service bring me closer to him, and in every weakness I am made strong in Christ.